May 20th, 2025
It’s not just NOT playing games that is hard, it’s having to make decisions about what to do instead.
When not abstaining from game play, it is SO WONDERFULLY EASY to “decide” what to do with a little bit of restful free time: open up that game launcher on my phone and fite up any of my favorite match 3 puzzle games. Making this decision is so easy, in fact, it’s like not having to make a decision at all! One of the reasons I think of games as addictive for me, or at least proof they’re habit-forming.
Because I’m on my 16th day abstaining from playing games on my phone, though, I have to figure out what I’m going to do to relax instead. And even though I’ve done a B+ job at pre-determining my choice (I choose to READ for pleasure), it’s still a chore to get started, especially when the phone is still in my hands and I’m trying to choose to do this bedtime reading on my kindle, setting my phone aside. Maybe I should let myself read on my phone’s kindle app for a few more weeks while I’m trying to break the game-playing habit and forge the reading one?
Even if I manage to make the transition away from my phone and on to my kindle (transitions: those are the worth talking about as they relate to the appeal of phone games), then I often have the problem of having to decide WHAT to read. And oh God all these fucking decisions are tiresome and never clear if they’ll be as rewarding as gameplay.
Like tonight. I finished a really great book last night, so the five or so days I had of not having to decide what to read are OVER. That never happens with Empires & Puzzles!! IT IS NEVER “OVER”!!
Sigh.
I know I have some great books to choose from, but it still feels like tense work trying to pick between them. Books are not as predictable as games (especially ones you’ve already played thousands of times). This stage of reading (the *preparing* to read stage) does not feel relaxing!!! Or rewarding!!!! Or restful!!!! And then there’s the whole “getting INTO a new book” (that you might discover is impossible to get into or discovering it is not what you want to be into at all and having to make more decisions about whether to get OUT of it while there’s still time, and then having to decide on its replacement) stage aggghhhh I really want to play games right now!!
I thought journaling about this would help but I think I actually feel more aggravated now and more desirous of gameplay than before I started drafting this post.
I suspect the solution is HAVING A PLAN. Making these decisions IN THEMORNING or anyhow AHEAD OF TIME.