Day 17 abstaining from games.
Setting up this site and blog has added to the temptation to play. Revisiting my twitch channel even just to pull my bio/about info and copy it here on match3addict.com was like inviting a little demon to come sit on my shoulder. Whispering C’MON! (Okay, shouting) how I shouldn’t let my channel lay dormant; it would be totally okay — WISE even — to login just to do a little streaming.
On the other hand, I know blogging about my compulsive problem-gaming will help me in the long run. It’s good for me to have a place to go to process what I’m feeling when I have compelling urges to launch games on my phones. It’s good for me to share that online where I can potentially help other people in similar situations and states of mind to have hope and not feel alone.
I’m not planning on never playing games again, but when I do I want to enjoy it and not feel guilty and ashamed of the number of hours I spend avoiding work that scares me and the potential of failure.
Journaling and logging days, weeks and months of abstinence from gaming is a way of putting things into a more objective perspective. Keeping notes on what I’ve learned, tools I’ve picked up along the way, and how much time I’ve spent NOT playing games provide reminders to celebrate growing in other areas that are not just leveling up and ascending characters on screens, but the real actual me.
Of course, it’s still possible for me to stream on Twitch and just chat with people about this journey without actually playing games.